Of course I was ecstatic to hear that my friend of 13 years had proposed to his girlfriend… I should say read, as the happy news did come in the form of a text and only because I initiated the conversation. So obviously it came as a shock, especially considering this friend in particular and I had spent a solid amount of time, just a few months prior, talking about marriage as if it was the absolute last thing we’d ever do in life.
That’s what it’s like these days… me contacting him – my most cherished of male chums – and feeling like a complete home-wrecker because let’s face it, no matter how well I get along with his significant counterpart, she will always find it suspicious that I feel the need to communicate with her soon-to-be-husband. And I don’t blame her… but I was here first!
I get it, I do. When one of your best man-friends is in a relationship things are bound to be different. You talk less and hang out almost never… THAT I can handle. However, if you’re not also close friends with the woman he chooses to spend the rest of his life with… YOU’RE TOAST. Once the “I dos” are exchanged, you may as well throw a puff of smoke into the air and disappear behind it forever.
I ask myself, if the roles were reversed, would I be as passionate about conserving these friendships? I feel the answer is yes. I mean these guys are the reason I’ve never felt I needed a man in my life. They listened, they advised, they encouraged and they took me on adventures. What more could a girl need? Each of them is like a valued piece of the puzzle. However, as time moves on, your needs change… maybe these men were meant to be a part of my journey at that time… perhaps they aided me in settling on just how high to set the bar for whoever is meant to come along and be all of them rolled into one… so maybe it’s okay to let them go?
His friendship will always be meaningful to me – who knows, I may get the occasional text – so maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to be happy for him and his beautiful bride-to-be.