(I wrote this for the York University Theatre Program entry audition in 2005. Six years later, I still think this way!)
So you’re lying in bed one night and you think to yourself, one day I will cease to exist. Can you honestly say that you lived your life the way you wanted to? There are so many unfulfilled dreams and goals that are utterly lost because, well, death gets in the way.
I for one refuse to let that happen. I want to know that I left something good behind…a legacy. I want to have made a difference. In anybody’s life or everybody’s life. Death is a scary thing. To know that one day you’ll go to sleep and never wake up, that’s a morbid thought! The funny thing is people say that if you go to heaven you’ll live eternally and forever with God…but isn’t that a bit frightening too? I mean, think for just a second, forever is an extremely long time. Wouldn’t you eventually run out of things to do? Especially when everything’s so pure and innocent. At least behaving badly or rebelling makes things a little more interesting. I’m not trying to imply hell is some kind of a wonderful place, just….forever seems like an awfully long time to be good! So either way, dying or being immortal in the afterlife freaks me out.
Life is the only sure thing…or is it? Have you ever questioned if we really exist, if we’re real? Well, I have! Big surprise, right? The loony girl who doesn’t want to die and doesn’t want to live forever questions her existence. I promise I’m NOT insane, just…a compulsive thinker!
A blazing hot summer’s day about a week ago, a friend and I were enjoying a tub each of frozen yogurt (it was one of those self-serve places, where they hand you an over-sized bin to put your dessert in. Subconsciously you try to fill the container and end up with a litre of the ice-cream wannabe). In between spoonfuls, he shared with me his favourite theory on life. He said billions of atoms began to expand, until they created the universe as we know it today. Apparently, once these atoms are exhausted from all the expanding, they decide to shrink back down together until the world is no more. Then they get bored and do it all over again…and over and over (every trillion years or so). And because they are the exact same atoms, dividing and conquering in the exact same way, the result is always the same. Hence, he continued, “You know that sensation you get sometimes, like you’ve been somewhere or done something before in the same, identical manner? It’s because you have!” I believe in God and this theory sounded like a counterpart to the Big Bang, but before I could get my Christian panties in a bunch, he explained that the atoms still had to be created by some higher power. It’s weird to fathom that light years from now I could possibly be sitting at this very same dark oak computer desk, in front of my incredibly ancient PC sharing this with you yet again. Where will you be?
Someone very dear to me (my mom) forwarded this quote along….
“Learn from the mistakes of others – you can never live long enough to make them all yourself” – John Luther
So, whether you are trying to live your life to the fullest because you believe you only live once or whether you think that life is one big déjà vu destined to repeat itself indefinitely, this quote imparts wisdom to help you do it right no matter how many times you get to experience it. The less time you take making the same mistakes as the people around you, the more time you’ll have to spend working towards making your dreams come true!