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Edible Poop

Would you stir poop into your coffee? What about chew it with your gum? What if I told you that you’ve probably already done said unthinkable acts? There’s an ingredient that you’ve heard about repeatedly. Its name is floating around somewhere in your subconscious – you know, the one that replaces sugar? The one that sits amid all other cryptic additives listed on the label of that yogurt you’re about to ingest. ASPARTAME – ring a bell? Type “what is aspartame?” into Google and you’ll get the response fashioned for those who prefer to remain happily oblivious; it’s an artificial sweetener. The question you want to be asking is “what is this stuff made of?” and the answer is: The excrements of genetically modified E. coli bacteria. You read that right. Apparently, they crossbreed one GMO specimen with a non-GMO one, which forms a specific amino acid (a combination of phenylalanine and aspartic acid) that the bacteria then “poop” out. This amino acid is put through a methylation process and eventually becomes aspartame. Perhaps alluding to feces is a touch misleading, considering bacteria don’t exactly answer to nature’s call. However, this genetically modified by-product is still a form of bacteria crap that should send you running in the opposite direction. Here’s an anecdote to explain why:

There I was refilling condiments at each booth like a good little server, when the restaurant manager comes by and says, “Remember, you only put five packets of sweetener at each table.” Turns out, this is a government regulation! Mainly because a child can die from the consumption of more than that amount.

Aspartame is just the icing on the sugar-free cake of doom. We all know that artificial ingredients and preservatives are deemed harmless in small doses. However, in large quantities, something like MSG (a flavour enhancer commonly added to Chinese food, canned vegetables, soups and processed meats) can potentially poison you. Everything in moderation right? Well, here’s a hypothetical scenario: I give you a spoonful of poison every day, promising that it won’t kill you. You willingly take it because – whatever, it tastes good! As you go on with your day, you’re approached by someone else offering you yet another delicious shot of venom. Again, you take it. Your day goes on in this way, until your body is pumped full off garbage. The next day, you do it all over again. If you’re reading this thinking it’s a little far-fetched, then take a browse at the labels hanging out in your cupboard and fridge. All those six-syllable words you can’t pronounce probably aren’t the ticket to a long and healthy life. Think about the fact that you’re accepting these synthetic elements into you diet from various sources and on a regular basisYour body is being inundated with harmful waste that it has to work incredibly hard to expel. And then people wonder why they’re suffering from all sorts of ailments.

Some food for thought. Pun intended.